How to Take & Understand the 5 Love Languages Quiz
I realized in writing a couple of blog posts that some people may have never heard of the 5 love languages quiz and even if they took it, they may not know what to do with the information once they have it. So, just in case anyone needs help understanding the how’s, what’s, and why’s, here you go:
How
Taking the quiz is very easy. Click here to go to the link for the 5 love languages quiz. Once you are on the page for the quiz, click start and follow the prompts. You will have options to complete this for yourself as a coupled or single adult, teenager, or on behalf of your child aged 9 or up (for kids 8 and younger they have some prompts to encourage conversations with your kids because the quiz may be hard for them). Once you complete the quiz, it will give you 5 numbers, which are percentages, for the 5 love languages.
What
This is the part where I find many people start seeing the struggle with understanding the 5 love languages. The most common mistake is when people only focus on the highlighted love language and ignore the rest of the information. It is very rare that someone is high in only 1 of the languages. So, the numbers next to each language really matter. For example, if someone scores this:
Example of 5 Love Language Results
These results mean that acts of service mean the most to them but quality time and physical touch are also important to them. While words of affirmation won’t fall on deaf ears and there is a chance a gift could make them feel loved, their partner’s time and energy would be best aimed at the top three.
Most people’s scores look something like this so it is important to really pay attention to everything that fills your love tank and what your loved ones says will fill theirs and not just the top ranked love language. I have had few rare circumstances where someone scored almost even across the board (they have lucky love ones because it would be easy to love on someone like this) and a few where their primary love language was significantly higher than all the rest (they may be a little harder to please without intentional effort). So, again, pay attention to all of the results.
Why
Regardless of your scores, the reason why we take the quiz is to be able to advocate for what we need and give others what they need. Taking the quiz helps to open the door to some introspection, as well as to some conversations. Just because someone scores high in a certain love language doesn’t necessarily give their loved one a clear road map on how to love them specifically. Everyone is different. So, our loved ones need to explain exactly what their scores mean to them. For example, someone who scores high in quality time may prefer time where they are actively doing something with their partner, while someone else high in quality time may just enjoy being in the same area of the house as their loved one. Also, someone with words of affirmation as their primary may like to be complimented to fill their love tank, while others may be satisfied with hearing “thank you.”
Talking with your loved ones about what exactly they want/need with the help of the quiz scores helps to make things more straight forward and provides a guide, if done well. If you need some more guidance or structure, you can also try out the Love Nudge app from the love languages team or try out their newer tool that provides a custom roadmap, which is available under the results window for a fee of $35.